Bad News + "Oh, No! The Monkeys are Back!!!"

So I'm gone for a few months and look what happens! Bad news everywhere.

There's a terrorist attack in London and guess whose fault it is? Bush's we're told. If US troops weren't in Iraq, we wouldn't have made these loonies mad and they wouldn't have blown up those trains. That's logic there. Honestly, I'm pretty sure if we didn't have troops in Iraq, we'd be seeing this happening on the New York and Washington DC subway systems instead. Supposedly, any action taken by the United States "provokes" violent nutcases to violence, when actually violent nutcases are already violent. Actions such as those taken in Iraq are done to stop the violence. Honestly, if the terrorists don't like having United States troops marching around the Middle East, they should have thought of that on September 10, 2001. In my opinion, it's not really the complicated situation many seem to percieve it as. It's a war, and I would compare the train bombings to the London Blitz.

I was also terribly saddened to learn that James Doohan, the actor who played Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott of the Starship Enterprise on Star Trek, died on July 20th.

As I was at camp at the time, it reminded me of a camp song that is the only Star Trek camp song that I know of in existance:

The Grand Old Captain Kirk;
He had 500 men.
He beamed all of them up to the ship,
And beamed them down again.
So when they're up, they're up.
And when they're down, they're down.
And when they're only halfway up,
They're scattered all around.

And lastly, there have been many Monkey Conspiracy-related items piling up in my absense which I must attend to:

Puerto Rico faces monkey menace. See!? It's spreading! Just as I predicted!!! DOWN WITH THE MONKEYS!!!

Monkey attacks top orienteer. What? Are monkeys going to start attacking celebrities next?

TIME Magazine ran Let's Have No More Monkey Trials, an opinion column with the sub-head, "To teach faith as science is to undermine both." It's a typical TIME piece, (i.e. it supports DemaCommunism) but it also has the gall to complain that SOMEBODY ELSE is undermining religion.

I FART IN THE GENERAL DIRECTION OF THIS COLUMN. It is so full of crap that words fail me to write a rebuttal that is anywhere near consise because each and every sentence seems to drip with utter absurdity. Ooh-ooh-ee-ee-aah-aah!